


You Must Think My Heart Is A Revolving Door (The Way You Come And Go As You Please)

by DaughterofElros



Category: Hockey RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Tyler Squared, coming to terms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 14:56:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterofElros/pseuds/DaughterofElros
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Segs, it always comes back to Tyler Brown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Must Think My Heart Is A Revolving Door (The Way You Come And Go As You Please)

**Author's Note:**

> So...this is what happens when I listen to country music and hear Sugarland's "Stay" followed by Toby Keith's "Ain't It Just Like You", which is, incidentally, where the title is taken from.
> 
> Anything vaguely resembling a timeline is completely and totally made up. There is so much handwaving here that I could be a boardwalk magician.
> 
> In my headcanon for this fic, Seguin is still with the Bruins, but I purposely tried to avoid details about teams and schedules and all (like what Brown is doing canonically), because that would have sent me into research mode, and this little 5700 word fic would have been done until Christmas.
> 
> Finally, warning for infidelity and broken hearts.
> 
>  
> 
> Eternal thanks to the lovely Liandria for the beta. You are right. They should be happy. I'm just mean. :)  
> _____________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Segs stares at the bags piled by the front door. He wishes that Tyler weren’t leaving, that he were going to be spending these last couple of days together before they have to report to their separate training camps in separate cities.

Tyler doesn’t want to though, wants to head back and get settled. Ty thinks _fuck that_ , because he doesn’t feel settled. When Tyler is gone, he never feels settled- not in Toronto, or Boston, or anywhere really. It’s like part of him is always hitched to Tyler, pulled apart from the rest of him, and the only time he ever feels grounded is when they’re together.

Tyler hauls him into a cheerful hug, promising to text him, and Segs nods, because what else is he supposed to do. He presses his lips against Tyler’s, sweet and lingering, like he can somehow convey his emotions this way. Tyler turns it hot and dirty though (despite the fact that it’s not going to lead anywhere, since they just finished giving each other goodbye blowjobs, and it’s going to take a few more minutes before either of them could make good on this promise of a kiss). He tries not to be disappointed, because this is pretty awesome too, but he can’t help sulking a bit inside, because it’s great, but it’s not what he _wants._

What he wants is more of this. He wants what they have in the summers to be a thing they have all the time. He wants waking up in the morning with the alarm, thinking _screw this_ and burrowing back under the covers together. He wants walking the dogs and being able to stop and kiss instead of just bump into each other’s shoulders and grin.

He wants holidays, and honesty, and not hiding who he cares about. He doesn’t want to hear about the girls that Tyler dates or picks up, he himself doesn’t want to be putting the effort in to picking up anymore. He’s tired of having to tell someone new the things he likes, instead of having the person in his bed already _know_ the right amount of pressure to give, or the fact that fingernails scraping down his back will always make his dick stand up and take notice.

He wants Tyler, is the thing. More and more all the time. But Tyler isn’t on the same page. He’s happy to keep things casual, keep it light. He doesn’t want a deep commitment, doesn’t want to have a significant other. He’s fine joking about it on social media, but doesn’t want that kind of intensity in real life.

That’s fine. Segs can wait until he does. So what if it means that he’s spending the best years of his life pining after his best friend and sometimes lover? Tyler  will get there one day, Segs thinks, watching him toss the final duffle bag in his car. One day, Tyler’s going to settle down and be ready for a relationship. It’s not like Ty’s going anywhere.

 

Tyler gets there, alright, and a lot sooner than Segs anticipated too. The only problem is, the relationship he decides he’s ready for isn’t with Ty.

He  gets a text one day telling him that  Tyler’s found this awesome chick, and he makes himself type back “Congrats, Bro” even though he doesn’t feel that at all. But Brownie’s chicks don’t usually last all that long- they go their separate ways after a few weeks or a couple of months, and it’s back to the two of them. Segs really doesn’t have a place to judge, since his relationships rarely last longer than a night or two. He’s not looking for more than a good time and some awesome sex though. He already has everything else he wants, once Tyler finally gets his shit together.

Except… three weeks later, when Tyler is in town for a game and texts Segs to meet him at the hotel, he and Julie are still together. He’s texting her when Segs gets there, tosses his phone on the bed after a few seconds and turns to kiss him.

Which, that’s not exactly cool, and much as he wants it, he doesn’t want to be part of a cheating thing. Even more than that, he doesn’t want Tyler to be the type of person who’d be down for that.

“Dude.” He says, turning his head at the last second. “What about your girl?”

Tyler shrugs.

“It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything.”  And yeah, it’s not like Tyler’s the type of guy to lock shit down. They’ve been doing this long enough for Ty to know that, so he goes with it, tilts his head back to let Tyler nuzzle up his throat and capture his lips in a mind-blowingly intense kiss.

Everything feels alright again, Segs thinks as he sucks Tyler off, his knees pressed into the generic hotel bedspread, his hand on his own dick working himself so that he comes just a minute after Tyler does.

When they clean up in the shower together afterwards, Tyler’s hands are almost reverent, caressing Seg’s soap-slicked body and tracing his muscles, mouthing his way across wet skin until Ty is hard again and he wraps his hand around both of them, sliding and thrusting against each other until they come again and the evidence is washed down the drain.

They hang out fully clothed on Tyler’s bed afterwards until his road roommate, Matt, returns and Ty knows he has to head out. They kiss goodbye quickly while Matt is in the bathroom and Ty steps through the door only to have Tyler pull him back for one last breathless kiss and shameless ass-grab before sending him on his way.

Ty spends the entire trip home grinning like an idiot. Things are looking up.

 

By December, Julie is still around though. More than just around. She’s all over Tyler’s twitter, and the entire world knows that they’re dating. Ty hates it. He also hates that she actually seems pretty cool, but most of all, he hates how Tyler is still with her, because the longer he’s with her, the less likely it is that he needs Ty around.

The next time they see each other, they only make plans to grab food, because Ty isn’t sure that he can handle the awkwardness of being around Tyler but not _being_ with him. Tyler has to get back as soon as they’re done eating, so Ty’s not anticipating that the issue of where they’re at is going to come up.

He gives Tyler a casual bro hug and waves as Tyler leaves. He signs for the check and heads to the bathroom before heading out himself. He’s washing his hands when the door opens and Tyler is barging into the room, scanning the open stalls and then hauling Segs around by his shirt. He pins him against the counter with his hips and crushes their lips together, licking into Ty’s mouth. It’s a desperate, searing kiss, and Ty is completely lost in it.

It doesn’t last forever- it doesn’t even last very long, because making out in a public restroom, no matter how much marble countertop and fancy lighting there is, is a ridiculously stupid move, and they both know it. If they want to get caught, there are few better ways to guarantee it.

Even when they stop kissing though, they stay close together, occupying each other’s space. Ty’s fingers are resting at Tyler’s hips, twisted in his shirt, and Tyler’s eyes are closed, his head bent close to Ty’s neck, breathing in the scent of his cologne.

“What about…” Ty starts, and has to start over again, licking his lips. “What about Julie?”

“We’re giving each other some space,” Tyler tells him. “We’ve both got a lot going on, and decided that we need to cool things off a bit. I was going to tell you, but… I didn’t want you to think I was expecting anything.”

“I… that’s cool.” Segs says, because he can’t really formulate complete sentences right now. All he knows is that he wants to continue this. They both have places to be though, so he asks, “Are you still coming into town for the game in a couple of weeks?”

Tyler gives him a strange look.

“Of course, dumbass. You got me tickets.”

“Yeah, I know. Just… We should continue this then. After the game.”

“That is a brilliant fucking idea.” Tyler says, leaning in to kiss him again like it’s a fucking religious experience, and Ty’s clever retort that; no, _it’s a brilliant idea about fucking_ gets lost in the ether.

 

Ty can’t focus in the locker room before the game. He gets chirped for being so antsy and obnoxious, and is too distracted to even manage any good comebacks. He’s too busy thinking about _after_ the game, and the fact that he’s going to see Tyler. He’s already gotten a text that Tyler is in his seat (followed by a litany of ridiculous emoticons that look sleazier and sleazier in context) and all he can focus on is the fact that Tyler is here to see _him_ and that he’s going to take him home and they’re going to fuck on his bed that he made up with fresh sheets this morning, and it’s going to be _awesome_.

Out on the ice though, he settles down within a couple of minutes, because Tyler is watching and he wants Tyler to see just how good he can be. He gets a goal and an assist, and they win the game 5-3, so everyone is pretty damn pleased with themselves.

He sees Tyler waiting outside the locker room when he comes into the hallway and catches him in a one-armed hug that looks suitably bro-ish.  They head out to Segs’s car amid chirps from the guys about date night with the wife, because the guys are all in on the joke, if not the reality.

Back at his place, Tyler kisses him slow and gentle, like he’s something delicate that could be crushed with too much pressure. Segs knows it’s not his body that Tyler’s afraid of crushing, but the fragile thing that’s starting to build between them. This- what they’re doing tonight- it’s not just sex, or buddy-fucking. It’s real, and intimate, and intense in a way that neither of them can ignore.

It’s too elusive to talk about directly, so they talk around it, with gentle-but-eager touches, and soft words.

“You were amazing out there.” Tyler tells him between tender, perfect kisses. “You lit it up.”

“Because I knew you were watching,” he admits, and that says it all, everything that they need to tell each other but haven’t ever directly stated.

Tyler smiles a little, brushes his thumb over Ty’s bottom lip.

“Bedroom?” he asks needlessly, and Segs nods.

“Yeah.”

They undress each other carefully, going slow by unspoken agreement. Segs lets Tyler ease him out of his suit jacket, drags Tyler’s sweater up his body and over his head, trailing his fingers over smooth skin. Tyler reaches for the buttons of Ty’s shirt, popping each one open with care while Ty maps out the perfection of Tyler’s body with his hands.

It’s not like they’re not both in incredible shape, since they’re playing and training all the time. But Tyler’s body is still so different from his own- muscles rounded and smooth, practically begging to be touched where Ty is more corded muscle stretched over sharp angles and planes. He loves the difference between their builds, loves that he and Tyler are so similar and so different all at once.

His exploration is interrupted when Tyler nudges him down to the bed, makes him stretch out with Tyler straddling his thighs. Tyler strokes his fingers down his body, across the washboard ripple of his abs, and he arches up into the touch, wanting Tyler to know how much he enjoys it. Tyler grins, clearly enjoying himself, and proceeds to touch him everywhere; deft fingers  brushing Ty’s sides, flicking across his nipples, pushing his hands back to his sides every time he reaches up to reciprocate.

It seems like hours go by before Tyler finally stands and slides Ty’s pants down his legs and strips off his own. He climbs back then, settling himself between Ty’s thighs and urging him further up the bed. His hands rub up and down Ty’s legs, nails scratching through crisp hair and making Ty shudder with pleasure.

He teases, but never puts his hands on Ty’s dick, despite how obviously desperate it is to be touched. Instead, he reaches for the lube, slicks his fingers and reached down to glide them across Ty’s entrance, making him moan.

“Touch yourself, Segs.” He urges, his voice gone rough and deep. “Touch yourself while I get you ready.”

Ty can’t hold back a gasp at that, his hand flying to his dick. It wouldn’t take much at this point to make him come, but he wants this to last so he only teases himself, allowing himself to approach the edge but not to tumble over.

The first finger breaches him, sliding in gradually. He has to bite his lip because it’s so intense.  It’s been awhile since they did this and he’s definitely tight. Tyler waits for him to relax though and then begins to fuck him slowly with that single finger, adding more lube and working him open until he can add a second. It feels both incredible and too much all at once, and he arches into the touch, wanting more. Tyler brushes against that spot inside him and… he was already hard, but now he’s pretty sure he could hammer nails.

“Fuck. Tyler. More. Please.” He groans out, thrusting sharply into the air, trying to impale himself further on Tyler’s fingers. Tyler grins and works a third finger into him, wrapping his other hand around the back of Ty’s neck to pull him up for a luscious, indulgent kiss, their tongues sliding together and Ty’s teeth tugging lightly at Tyler’s bottom lip until they’re both breathless.

Tyler reaches for the condom that he dropped on the bead earlier with the lube, fumbling to tear the packet and roll it over his length before shifting Ty’s legs and lining himself up to press into him, sinking in at a careful, measured pace in order to give him time to adequately adjust.

Segs loves the sensation of being filled, taking Tyler inside his body. He wants Tyler to move, to give him that sensation over and over again of thrusting into him, making him beg for more until he can’t even articulate words. He thinks the only way to get there is to fuck hard and fast, but Tyler stills him with big hands on his hips, pressing him into the mattress and making him take it slowly, feeling every inch of him sliding in and out with exceptional finesse.

It’s exquisite torture, makes him tremble apart and whimper with need, until the world is nothing more than sparks and sensation and the drag and thrust of Tyler’s hips and cock drawing him onward to orgasm. He comes over his own fist, still touching himself like Tyler told him to, his whimpered cry swallowed down by Tyler’s lips on his.

Tyler takes only a few more lazy thrusts to come, shuddering above him and sliding free of his over-sensitized body a moment later. He rolls them onto their sides, sharing kisses like sips of wine until he reaches over to dispose of the condom and tuck them both under the covers. He snugs himself up against Ty, making himself the big spoon and wrapping an arm around his torso.

 

Segs wakes up in the morning to Tyler’s morning wood pressed against his ass and intentionally arches back against him. He can tell the moment when Tyler wakes up because his stuttering, sleepy movements become more deliberate and  he reaches down to cup Ty’s balls and then wrap his hand around his dick so he has something to thrust into. It takes them a long time to come like that, lazy and unhurried, but neither of them has anywhere to be today.

They share the shower, and while they don’t have sex again, they also can’t keep their hands off each other. They snack on power bars and take Marshall out for a light jog on the Common. They should probably have showered before going out again for brunch, but they decide “fuck it” and just choose a place that’s enough of a hole in the wall that they won’t be judged too much.

They go back to the apartment and spend the day playing video games and making out on the sofa. They order in an early dinner which they eat while half-watching ESPN.  Afterwards, Tyler gets this determined look in his eye and drops to his knees in front Segs and yanking his jeans down so he can proceed to suck his brains out through his dick.

He climbs on top of him to jack off, shoving Ty’s shirt up out of the way and striping his abs with come while Ty just grabs his ass and holds on, flexing his fingertips in the firm muscle. They clean up with the napkins from the take-out, and then Tyler is kissing him goodbye (a process that takes several minutes and brings them through three separate rooms before they reach the front door).

And then the door shuts, and Ty is alone with only Marshall for company. (Marshall is fucking awesome, but no matter how determined he is to cuddle and give sloppy, face-licking doggie kisses, the comparison doesn’t weigh in his favor.) He spends the next several minutes scrolling through the calendar on his phone, trying to figure out when he’s next going to see Tyler.

 

On New Year’s Eve, he’s feeling sappy and sentimental, and picks up his phone to text Tyler some of the lyrics to “What Are You Doing New Years?” and it’s really not weird that he knows the lyrics by heart, because his Mom loves that song, okay.

He stops though when he sees a twitter notification saying that Julie had tweeted ‘@tylerbrown1856 #Happy New Year! Know where I’ll be at midnight! #kisses’

A cold feeling runs through him, because clearly Tyler and Julie aren’t needing quite so much space any more. He tosses his phone on the couch cushion in a sulk and heads to the bedroom to get ready for going out. Whatever. He has, like, a million invitations to parties for tonight, and he can’t think of a better time or reason to go out and get shitfaced.

 

If Tyler and Julie weren’t much of a thing before the New Year, they’re definitely making up for lost time after. He tries not to get too pissy, but it’s hard when he’s sitting there in the corner licking his metaphorical wounds and keeps having his face shoved in it all the fucking time. Between twitter and Facebook and the fact that he and Tyler are still texting (because he can’t bring himself to create any more distance between them), he hears about Julie way too much. Even in the locker room, some of the guys start in chirping about how “Your wife’s girlfriend is pretty hot.”

He’s actually kind of dreading the summer, because He’s not sure how to handle the fact that he’s supposed to be living with Tyler up in Toronto for most of it (once Tyler finishes this trip he’s taking with Julie.)

Part of him wants to cancel, and part of him balks at the thought of not seeing Tyler, not still having something. He figures that if it gets too awkward, he can always invite a couple of the guys over to stay too, keep him and Tyler from having too much time to get weird about shit.

 

Tyler calls him late at night a week before he’s supposed to show up sounding totally wrecked.

“Hey Ty.” He says as Ty pick up the phone. “I was wondering if… maybe I could come by a few days early?”

Ty blinks.

“Yeah, sure.” He says, not really sure what other response he could have given. “When are you thinking?”

“Um. Maybe…tomorrow?” he says sheepishly. “Julie and I… We kind of broke up, so I’m kind of staying at a hotel by the airport? I’m planning to catch the first flight out tomorrow.”

“Yeah man. I can pick you up. Text me the deets.” He says evenly, trying not to let his voice betray how fucking excited he is to hear that Julie and Tyler are no longer a thing. And he feels bad about feeling so good about it- he really does. But he feels like a new world of potential has just opened up for him.

 

Ty doesn’t make the first move. He tells himself he won’t, that he needs to respect if Tyler needs some time. It takes less than four days though before Tyler leans over while they’re watching TV and kisses him, tasting like sweet, hoppy beer. It’s intoxicating on so many levels, and Ty doesn’t protest when he finds himself with his legs wrapped around Tyler later that night, being fucked into the couch cushions.

They spend the summer training, fucking, playing some video games, hanging out with friends, fucking, training some more, and fucking. It’s a pretty awesome schedule, and Segs feels like he’s living life to perfection.

By August though, Tyler starts spending more time on his phone. He’s like, always texting, and it starts to get annoying. And then one night he says haltingly, “So… I’ve kind of been in touch with Julie. And she wants to give us another try so… I mean, I think that’s what I want. And we should probably stop… you know. What we’ve been doing. And I didn’t want you to think that it’s because I don’t care. I do. I really fucking do. It’s just, this girl, man. She could be the real deal. Like… house and white picket fence and kids one day real deal. Right?” he says. He sounds so earnest, and hopeful, and like he wants him to _understand_ that Segs swallows down everything he wants to say, wants to scream, and just says,

“You do what you gotta do, man.”

And Tyler smiles at him, so radiant that it makes him want to crumble. Because he doesn’t need to say anything to Tyler about how bullshit this is, how Segs could _be_ all that too, if he’d just give them a chance. How he’s in love with Tyler, and has been for what feels like fucking forever. Tyler knows all that, even if they never talk about it. He knows all of that and still, Segs is watching him pack his shit up and leave Toronto early, because even though part of him wants this, wants Ty… it’s not enough.

He waits until Tyler’s gone to throw shit and freak out, until he collapses on the couch crying tears that are as much anger and frustration as they are heartbreak. Marhsall sets his head on Ty’s knee, looking up at him with said, plaintive eyes. Ty hauls him up on the couch and buries his face between his arm and the dog, pathetically grateful that at least one thing he loves isn’t going to leave him.

 

They don’t make as much of an effort to see each other over the next year. Ty suddenly finds himself very busy whenever Tyler can be around. Most of it is even true- their schedules just don’t mesh well this year, like it wasn’t even meant to be. But the time or two that it does line up, Ty has somewhere to be. Suddenly it’s February, and they only caught each other for a quick dinner with some of Ty’s teammates back in November.

There’s a knock on his door, and he opens it to find Tyler standing there, looking way, way too attractive in a long wool coat and a black toque.

“The fuck…” Ty starts, but Tyler cuts him off.

“Julie and I had a fight.” He says. “Over the phone.  She kept telling me that I need to figure out what I want, and I’m not even sure what she means, and by the time she hung up on me, I was so pissed off that I got in my car and started driving and…I ended up here. I almost turned around three hours in, because I knew you might not want to… But I had to see you.”

And then Tyler is kissing him, desperate like he’s on the edge of insanity, and Ty knows he should push him away, send him back to his girlfriend, but he doesn’t fucking want to. He wants this instead, the frantic, messy clash of teeth and swipe of tongues, the way that Tyler’s leg feels so fucking good jammed between his own, the way that they’re already tearing at each other’s clothes.

It’s rough and desperate, and also insanely hot.  Ty has a game the next day, so instead of fucking him, Tyler slicks his cock up with one hand, reaching back to prepare himself. The sight of him, working his fingers into his ass with brutal efficiency is kind of a turn-on, and when Tyler sinks down on his dick, riding him through the burn, Ty almost comes right then.

Tyler falls asleep almost as soon as they finish, which isn’t surprising considering that he just drove five hours on a fucking whim, but Segs can’t get to sleep. He stares and the blue glow of the alarm clock flipping through the minutes and dreads the inevitable moment when Julie calls and Tyler disappears again.

 

The next time, Segs knows that Tyler has a game nearby. He’s not exactly _expecting_ the knock on the door, but he’s definitely not surprised when he opens it to see Tyler leaning against the doorframe, his coat slung over his shoulder and the hint of a smile on his face.

Ty doesn’t ask this time what’s going on with Julie, because he’s not sure he wants to know.  He’s not sure he even believes Tyler’s explanations anymore, and he finds that he’d rather not know than question the truth of Tyler’s statements. Even if that makes him a coward. At least this way, he can pretend that it’s only Tyler who’s responsible in this.

He’s definitely a coward.

They don’t really talk, and they barely even kiss. They get down to business more quickly than all of that. They strip efficiently and he lets Tyler manhandle him until he’s lying face down on the bed.

Tyler opens him up with practiced efficiency, but he fucks him for a long time, sometimes fast and sometimes slow and steady. Ty comes halfway through, his hands fisted in the sheets and actually manages to get hard again and come a second time with Tyler’s hand around his dick, jerking him off before coming with a low, wrecked groan.

They lay side by side on the bed, sweat cooling on their bodies, and Tyler realizes that for the first time he’s not even sure what he wants. Like, he wants Tyler. He always wants Tyler. But not like this, not halfway and in secret. This isn’t what he’s looking for. He can’t even begin to guess what Tyler wants. All he knows is that even with all the random hookups he’s had, he’s never felt this empty, this hollowed out after sex. He falls asleep wondering if he should beg Tyler to stay, or just give up on this.

He wakes up a couple of hours later to find that Tyler is gone. There’s a text notification on his phone that just says “Catch you later, man,” and no other sign that he’s even been here. Segs rattles around from room to room for several hours before he can begin to fall asleep again.

 

In early April, it’s actually Segs who initiates things, calling up Tyler to get together. They end up sitting in Tyler’s car in a dark corner of the parking lot at the rink. Segs actually really wants to talk, but one thing leads to another and the conversation becomes somewhat hindered by the fact that Tyler is leaning over the gap between the seats so he can get his mouth on Ty’s dick. And fuck, it feels amazing, so he gives in to it, threads his fingers through Tyler’s hair and lets himself go. Tyler swallows and wipes him mouth on his sleeve, but when they kiss, Segs can taste himself on Tyler’s tongue and it gets to him, makes him want more in such a visceral, crushing way.

“It doesn’t have to be this way.” He blurts out. “It doesn’t have to be all secrets and stolen moments.” Tyler is looking at him blankly, so he just storms ahead. “We could be together. I can tell everyone; management, my family, the entire fucking world if that’s what you want. This could work. _We_ could work.” And you could have everything you want, he thinks desperately. The house and the picket fence and all the suburban junk, and there are plenty of ways to work around the kids thing, like surrogacy and shit…

He doesn’t say any of that though, because Tyler is shaking his head. He looks… bemused and a little sad, maybe.

“Segs,” he says gently, “It can’t work. Not like you’re saying.” Tyler kisses him, swift and casual.

Ty can’t kiss back because his lips are numb.

Tyler doesn’t seem to notice, just reaches for the door handle and climbs out of the car. Segs fumbles to do up his jeans and follow suit.

“I guess you’re more in love with Julie than I realized.” he says bitterly, hunching his shoulders against the damp, rainy chill and jamming his hands in his pockets. Tyler sighs.

“That not… Yes, I love her,” he says steadily. “But she’s not the only one I love.”

Ty feels hope bloom amidst the tightness in his chest.

“You’re way more than just a best friend to me, Ty. But we aren’t even in the same state most of the time. We see each other a few times throughout the year when we fight to make it happen, and maybe a couple of months in the summer. And who knows if our careers could survive an announcement like that.” He fidgets with his keys, looking as lost as Ty feels.

“Plus, there’s Julie.” Ty says with an edge to his voice.

“Yeah.” Tyler concedes. “There’s Julie.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here,” Ty finally admits as an uncomfortable silence stretches between them.

“I don’t know either.” Tyler responds. “But I know I don’t want to lose you.”

“I not going anywhere,” he says softly. And that’s true, but he’s beginning to realize that neither are he and Tyler.

 

A few weeks later, they make it into the playoffs and Tyler texts to congratulate him. He jokes about ditching some event he’s supposed to be at with Julie to come see Ty play, and Ty feels it. This is the moment. Instead of texting back, he thumbs through his phone to pull up Tyler’s number.

Tyler picks up on the third ring with a cheerful, “Hey, man!”

Ty doesn’t give himself the time to hesitate.

“You should stay.” He says, and his voice doesn’t even shake. “You should stay there. With Julie. Work it all out with her for real. Marry her even, if that’s what you want.” There’s a terrible, ominous weight  to his words.

Tyler is silent a long time.

“It’s not the only thing I want,” he says finally.

“I know.” Ty says, resolutely refusing to let himself cry, because he doesn’t think he can really go through with this if he does. “But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t love someone I have to share. And what we’re doing… It’s not fair to her, Tyler. Or to me. Or even to you.”

“I know.” Tyler says awkwardly. And then, “Fuck. Ty… I’m sorry. For whatever it’s worth.”

Segs smiles sadly.

“It’s worth a lot.” And it really is. Because Tyler’s a good guy- a great guy even, despite the fact that they’re in this shitty situation.

“Are we… Are we still friends?” Tyler asks, sounding like he’s choking up too. “Or is this it?”

“I think we’re still friends?” Segs answers, but it’s just as much a question as an answer, because he doesn’t know exactly what things are supposed to look like from here. “I meant when I said I’m not going anywhere. Just… maybe we need some time and some space, you know.”

“Yeah.” Tyler considers. “ Should I, um… Should I make other plans for the summer then? Instead of Toronto?”

“I mean… “ Segs bites his lip. “You’re always welcome, man. But… maybe it would be for the best, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Segs echoes. And there’s not much more to say after that. “I guess… I guess this is goodbye then.”

“Goodbye, Ty.” Tyler whispers into the phone, and it kills him to hear the finality of it instead of their usual ‘catch you later!’.

“Yeah.” He says back softly. “Goodbye.” And then he forces himself to actually pull the phone away from his ear and end the call.

His phone mocks him for a couple of minutes, its bright screen glowing cheerfully. He sets it down, then reconsiders a second later and picks it back up again. Before he can change his mind, he swipes through the screens, pulls up Facebook, and navigates to the page where he can edit his profile.

He stares at the words “Married to Tyler Brown” until the screen goes dim and he has to tap to keep it from turning off. Then, resolutely, he makes the change and lets it update. He spends a long minute staring at the screen where his profile now reads, “Single.”


End file.
